Balancing a 9–5 and a Business: Real Talk for Multi-Passionate Creatives with Chelsey Newmyer

Can you build a business you love and keep your day job—without burning out?

I sit down with Chelsey Newmyer, behavior change specialist and founder of From Overwhelmed to Under Control, to unpack what it really takes to do both. From redefining productivity to letting go of the shame around evolving your offers, Chelsey offers insight-rich stories and strategies for creatives who are done with hustle culture and ready for a more values-aligned way to work.

If you’ve ever questioned your pace, your path, or your priorities—this episode is your permission slip to do business differently.

Topics:

• Redefining success and letting go of achievement pressure – [03:43]
• Why not getting the promotion was a win – [05:32]
• How Chelsey actually balances a 9–5 with her business – [11:44]
• The real reason time management isn’t enough – [13:43]
• The productivity myth that launched her business – [15:39]
• Six causes of procrastination—and how to stop them – [22:00]

You can find Chelsey at:

Website: chelseynewmyer.com

Instagram: @chelseyncoaching

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Transcript

Jacki Hayes  00:00

Hey there. Welcome to Here's What I Learned. I'm Jacki Hayes, a system strategist, unapologetic, smutty romantasy lover, Dungeons and Dragons, geek and your no-BS guide to building a business that works for you. This is the place where we swap stories, share lessons, and get real about the highs and lows of creating a life and business that actually feels good. No cookie cutter advice here, just honest conversations about what's working, what's not, and how to rewrite the rules to fit your version of success. So grab your favorite beverage, get comfy, and let's dive in. 

Jacki Hayes  00:43

Welcome to another episode of Here's What I Learned today. I have Chelsey Newmyer, who is a certified behavior change specialist, productivity expert, business coach, and the host of from overwhelm to under control, podcast which I had the pleasure of being on. She helps ambitious moms turn their nine to five skills into thriving businesses without overwhelm. Welcome to being on the show today, Chelsey, how are you doing?

Chelsey Newmyer  01:11

Oh, wonderful. Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited about this conversation.

Jacki Hayes  01:16

I would love to know what is something you've been learning about lately? 

Chelsey Newmyer  01:21

Yeah, so that's a big question, because I'm always learning, and I'm such a nerd about all things, so I, right now, have been doing a deep dive into, actually, a lot of personal development stuff in terms of how I am thinking about my own relationship with achievement and success, and so doing some work and redefining success and productivity for myself and finding more joy in the day to day, because I, for so long, pushed so hard to achieve the kind of traditional definition of success, and so that's really what I've been learning more about, reading more about, and having a lot of fun doing.

Jacki Hayes  01:58

So far. How would you say you would now define success from what you've been learning?

Chelsey Newmyer  02:05

I'm still working on my own definition of it, for sure, but I think the direction it's going is it's finding more joy in those small moments. It's not seeking the next rung in the ladder without intention, right? It's just being more intentional with my time. It's being more thoughtful about who and what I'm surrounding myself with as well. So success doesn't need to mean a ton of money. It can be the connections that you're making. It could be time hanging out with my son and not have feeling like I need to be on my phone right? It's all just those smaller moments that can be kind of second fiddle to a lot of the other things that people focus on.

Jacki Hayes  02:49

I like how you mentioned the next rung with intention, because there's not necessarily anything wrong with wanting to achieve. But are you doing it, but just because you think that's what you're supposed to be doing, or is it because you actually want it and you're doing it with intention? I think that's a really good differentiator on that topic.

Chelsey Newmyer  03:09

I work a nine to five still as a consultant, and I had my first face of reality with what I'm learning about because promotions were recently announced, and my name wasn't on the list and past Chelsea, that would have devastated me. That would have been because I've been at the company longer than some of the people who got promoted. I know I do good work. I would have just been in a spiral about why I hadn't been given a promotion. But then I thought about it, and it was like I actively told my manager, I don't want more responsibility. Oops, have not been volunteering to do more because I don't want my so I don't want to burn out on my nine to five job when I would rather spend time with my family. I would rather spend time on my own business. I would rather spend time taking care of myself than doing more work. So it just, it was just, like, really great, but kind of brutal reality of, yeah, that's, that's what that means. It means I didn't get the promotion, and that's okay. I'm okay with it, but it definitely took me a second there, because, like I said, that would have sent me into a spiral probably a year or two ago. 

Jacki Hayes  04:22

Yeah, and just think, though, had you gotten the promotion, what that would have meant for you. It wouldn't have meant being able to probably do all these things that you're now finding in the the joy of the every day that you're making space.

Chelsey Newmyer  04:35

absolutely, yeah, it would have been more meetings, more time, more more work, and not on work that I enjoy doing as much.

Jacki Hayes  04:44

So I ask all my clients at the beginning of the podcast to tell me what it means to them to do business your way. What does it mean to you?

Chelsey Newmyer  04:53

I've also been going through a whole reprint. So it's actually funny hearing you read my bio, because I probably said that to you a month ago, and it's actually. For it now, even so, which I think is so common, right? And for me, doing business my way, I get to change it. I get to find that redirection. I get to talk to a different group of people, or to lean in on something that I am passionate about and learning about and excited about teaching others. When I started my business, I was so self conscious of I can't change my mind. Like, what if? What are people gonna think about it? I'm gonna look flaky. I'm not gonna It's all those kind of self conscious thoughts we have swirling in our minds. But it's, it's my business. I get to, I get to make those changes. So doing business My way is getting leaning into and exploring things that I love to talk about, getting to change my mind, updating offers, always with the goal of helping others, serving others and helping those people who are even just a step or two behind me, who haven't gotten to where I am. I don't have to have it all figured out. No.

Jacki Hayes  05:58

Well, and I think we do tend to beat ourselves up when we start our business of like, this is what I'm doing, and that doesn't give us room to evolve, to learn like what it is. We think we know what we want to do, but then as we get in the weeds, we're like, Oh no, this is this is more my strength, or these are the people I really want to work with. And so if we don't let ourselves change, we're not going to enjoy our businesses, but we also don't think about the fact that people are changing jobs like promotions or companies like every two two and a half years now, and nobody's really blinking an eye on that. So why is it any different for you to change your business on a regular basis?

Chelsey Newmyer  06:37

 That's a really good point, and I think we have to remember that we're we're learning too, right? Especially if you're changing your niche or your target audience. You may have explored that a little bit and you didn't like it, or it wasn't the right fit, or you got burned a few times. And so we have to for me, was this realization I've been in business for almost four and a half years, or it'll be five years in June, and I was like, I have grown and changed so much since five years ago. It would be doing a disservice to my business to not carry all of those things that I've learned and pour it into this new version. And it also comes back to what my definition of success is. I mean, obviously, we're in business, we have to make money like, that's, that's the goal my my mom always asked me how my business is going, and I know that she's coming at it from a perspective of, How much money have you made? And for a while that made me really self conscious, because it's hard to make money. It takes time. It it's you're you're evolving. Things are more complicated, and now that's, that's not how I define the success of my business. I've made some incredible connections. I've met and helped a ton of people. I've learned a ton and grown a ton. So even how we're working that into our personalized business is so, so important.

Jacki Hayes  07:55

Yeah, I'm visiting my parents this weekend, and I'm dreading the that question is how it's business going? Because right now it's in a slow period, and it's, I can't give them the oh, I'm rolling in the dough. It's great, but yeah, if I could, I thank you for that, because I'm going to reframe it with oh, I've made a lot of new connections lately, and I've got some collaborations in the works. It doesn't have to always be about the money. Yes, I want to make a profit. But like you said, That's not all the measures, but I do like that you you still have your nine to five job, and whether or not you keep that or not, something that I had just had a realization on listening to another podcast recently, where they were talking about being in relationship with your business, and how it can get kind of CO dependent if you place everything on your business. And it was a realization for me that, yeah, it was fine that I have my part time job, it didn't mean I wasn't still 100% committed to my business. You can be 100% long term committed to your business and have other work outside of that. In fact, in some cases, and with the economy we have, it might be a good idea to have other streams. How do you balance the nine to five and running your business?

Chelsey Newmyer  09:06

So I'm really blessed that my nine to five is remote and it's pretty flexible. I have contract where I'm a consultant. So some months it's busier than others. February is pretty low key. March has been banana so far. So my business with that ebbs and flows. Right February. I was able to get more content out. I was able to get it, get ahead a little bit on things. So I think for me, it's being okay with that flux. I obviously I want to in an ideal world, I would be super consistent with everything and everything would get done in this brand vision, but sometimes I got to play it by by year and see what comes up and work in those kind of small moments. Also, luckily, a night owl, so I really don't mind jumping on after my son goes to bed or after dinner and working for a couple hours before bed, and my husband and I have either. Incredibly supportive. So we've come up with a good routine of what nights I can come back on. But more than anything, I would say I've just streamlined. I just know where I can and can't show up, right? I'm not adding more platforms to my plate that I can't handle. I'm trying to be really by the podcast is a great way to lean in, because it's a great way to attract people, to be able to get my voice out there. I really want to show up on stories every day, but I'm terrible about remembering to take photos, so it's just I have to be okay with the level that I can give it. But I'm always showing up for my clients. Those are the most important I'm always showing up for myself in terms of the coaching that I receive personally. And then I really lean into the things that I enjoy doing that I know we're going to have some return on investment.

Jacki Hayes  10:45

So talking about streamlining, you're known for productivity, is that still you said that you're kind of changing things a little evolving? Is that still going to be a focus for your work, or are you going to be evolving away from that?

Jacki Hayes  10:59

So not away from it, but thinking about it in a different way, because I realized that a lot of the women that I was were working with were coming to me and saying, I can't handle it. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. Help me make it all happen. And it kind of dawned on me, like time management is not going to fix that problem. They you have to. There has to be kind of less on your plate. And how do we help you decide what's really a priority, what's really important to you? What can you say no to? What can be delegated, all those kind of pieces of it. So the focus now is going to be helping start recovering over achievers who have defined success by doing the most and put their value in output that their value in being productive and helping them redefine productivity for themselves, redefine success for themselves, so that they're able to just enjoy the time that they have a little bit more. So we'll absolutely still talk about scheduling. We're still going to talk about why they're procrastinating. We're still going to talk about all those pieces, but it's just a different umbrella, because my goal is not to help them do more. It's to kind of how that do less. 

Chelsey Newmyer  13:32

Yeah, basically, yeah. I think my experience and others that I've heard from whenever we pick up 10 management books or productivity books or these advice books, one, they're always written by a white guy, oh my god, somebody at home, and maybe a nanny, and maybe a housekeeper and all those other things. And then you hear the things Beyonce has the same 24 hours. And it's not the reality of life. It's like asking somebody to do their budget and saying, Well, you're doing it wrong, but they don't have enough money to cover everything. There's not enough to cover all the things you can't fault them for that there's only so much you can give and not just output, but like to make sure that you're not going to burn out. And some of that needs some white space for you. Yeah, what actually was the final prompt to start my business was reading a book written by a man who talked about taking a nap in the middle of the day to recharge and having his support person, like, prepare all the notes for all the meetings that he was in and, like, reading them in the car on the way home. And I it like blew my mind. I was like, okay, so who's going to call my boss and tell her? Because at the time, I was going into an office, like, who's going to call my boss and tell her that I need to couch in my office because I'm just going to take a cool nap afternoon? Like it was so just delusional about the reality of life, and I didn't have a kid at that point, like I just was a normal person living a normal life. And I totally agree that was kind of what spawned or sparked the whole movement of productivity is personal, because between that and the fact that I tried to wake up at five o'clock in the morning to work out for years, and it alway failed miserably, that's what I was like. There's got to be a different way to do this. Has got to be a more personal approach and making sure that we're taking the time to learn what works best for you, what makes sense for you and for your life. And I try really, really hard with all of my clients, to really meet them where they are and recognize that there are things that you can't say no to, that would be really that are the time and energy sucks and you have to get through it, and there's going to be those seasons. And so again, meeting my clients, where they are, and then, you know, it's not always as easy as just saying, Oh, just don't do that anymore. And I recognize that fully.

Jacki Hayes  14:31

And yet, we often get the message as women that we can have have it all, but they fail to say, you also have to do it all. And I remember the days when I was working nine to five and getting up to get to the five o'clock workout, and by the time I finished, like I would be sitting on the kitchen floor sobbing, making dinner because I was so tired by the time I got there, and it was like, I still have to take care of my kid and make sure he gets to bed and he gets his bath, and still got to make sure that the house gets picked up. And it was just like, how am I supposed to. Do this day in and day out. Is this really what I want my life to look like, which was, No, not at all. Right? Yeah, absolutely. So how do you help your clients find out what productivity means to them? How do you personalize that for them?

Speaker 1  15:19

So we start with values. I'll give a great example. I'll start with so my definition of productivity is working on the right thing at the right time to help you reach your goals. So what I mean by that is the right thing is the specific task that is broken down, really specific task, and again, goal aligning, which we'll get to. But the the right thing is that specific task, the right time is within your day. When are you going to be able to focus on that task? The best are we doing a high focus, labor intensive task when you are drained and exhausted, and doing easy tasks when you're able to focus right? How are we looking at your day? What's your responsibilities? Where's your energy at and that help you make progress towards your goal is making sure we know what we're working towards, right? Like there has to be a goal, or specifically for business, or even your work, you're just doing busy work, and you're just going to add that, continue to add that busy work onto your plate. So we come back to, what are your values? What are your priorities? Which is hard, right? That's the hard work, and it's easy to just kind of spew off the things that were were supposed to say. So I really challenge my clients to get specific with their values and what their priorities, and then can kind of work backwards from there. And it's again, there's no judgment, there's no shade. I don't your definition of productivity could be whatever you want it to be, if that is to rule the world or talk to 100 people a day, I maybe wouldn't advise it, but I'm not gonna, I'm gonna help you reach for that goal. So I just want my people to be intentional with that, right? It's making sure that they have some goals, they have an objective that they're working towards, that they understand that every yes is a no somewhere along the way. So are we making the right choices, and are we taking care of ourselves along the way so that you're not going to reach that point of burnout and exhaustion and feel like you've been working so so hard and have nothing to show for it, because that's just a crappy place to be. 

Jacki Hayes  17:17

Yeah, I know for myself that it can be very easy to think the things I'm doing for my business are essential, like, absolutely everything, all of it needs to be done. And in reality, probably not, probably not. In reality, no, that's not the case. Like, there is things in there that is hard to determine whether or not they're busy work. I think for some folks, including myself. And I mean, if I sat down and really thought of it, I could probably figure it out. But that's where people like yourself are very helpful, because as an outside person, you have an objectivity that we may not have in our business, and we're very attached to all the things and you gotta do all the things to you gotta be on all the channels, you gotta post every day, all the things that they tell us we have to do. And I just today found myself doing busy work, like I had a spare moment, and I could have been doing, who knows, something a whole lot more productive than Canva. So which, I think Canva tends to be the busy work that a lot of us get into.

Chelsey Newmyer  18:14

It's, well, it's, it's, it's deceiving. You feel like you're making it's that product. So okay, one of the reasons that we can procrastinate is we guy call productive procrastination. It feels good. It feels like you're doing something, and so you can't falter for that. But yeah, it's it's often hard to discern sometimes, and that is just a third party that's just and it's also taking a look at some of the different pieces of your business. So I know that, like, websites can be a time sucker updating those things. I looked at my traffic on my website. Most people just click the sales page. They don't actually read my whole sales website. I very low website views like, so maybe I'll just spend more time on the sales page right? Like it's sometimes it's just taking a step back and looking at the resources and information that you have to make a good decision.

Jacki Hayes  19:08

You said you talk with your clients about procrastination, and I know like one of the fun phrases I once heard was procrastin branding, where people wouldn't get their business started until their brand was just right type of a thing. And obviously a lot of times procrastination has something to do with fear, but there's all kinds of other reasons. What are some of the most common reasons your clients have for it?

Chelsey Newmyer  19:30

Ah, Jacki, this is my favorite topic to talk about, and I'll go really fast just again. I have a whole episode on the podcast about this too, but there are, I always talk about six reasons. The first reason is that you don't understand the bigger goal, right? So I use the example of, I want to start a podcast. That's a big goal, great goal, but there's a lot of decisions that come with that. And so it's kind of like that branding piece, right? Like, so if you don't have that kind of clear. It's harder to get started. All procrastination is, is friction to get to get started. It's not laziness, it's It's nothing. It's not a testament to who you are as a person. It's just a friction. So we have abstract goal. We have perfectionism, which is managed to make sure that everything is perfect before it goes forward. We have fear of failure, which is understandable, especially as if someone who's putting themselves out into the world, themselves out into the world quite often, right? There's you can look a little silly, or fear of looking silly doing it. There's wanting or waiting for a deadline, which is something that I think so many people deal with. And this isn't even a bad one. I actually kind of love this one. Everybody's threshold for the stress they feel on an approaching deadline is different. I used to tutor high school students. No one has a higher threshold for a deadline than like a teenage boy, right? Like they don't feel pressure until two hours before that project's due. Everybody's different with that. Sometimes we need that pressure. The challenge with that comes when, you know, the internet goes out, the computer crashes right like, when there's some kind of emergency that means we didn't allow for the time that we had. And then there's, my gosh, I usually have these all memorized. Maybe it's just those. Those would work with those. So all I want my clients to do is when they feel like they're procrastinating, when they feel like they're they notice that they're doing it is just stop and ask themselves, why? Where is that friction coming from? Is my goal too ambiguous right now, and I need to make it into a smaller step? Is this something that I need to just take messy and scary action on and see what happens. Is this somewhere I need to create some artificial deadlines along the way to keep myself accountable. Or do I need an accountability partner, like a coach or a fellow business owner or a friend who can check in on the progress? Lots of different ways we can manage it, but knowing why you're procrastinating is going to help so much in the long run.

Jacki Hayes  22:00

Yeah, I know I have set a project for myself right now that I have been procrastinating on for a very, very long time, but I joined Becky mullencamp is, kind of got a group of people together to do the 100 rejections challenge. And so I kind of joined in on that because it was, it's, it has a lot to do with putting myself out there, which is scary to do. And so it's like, okay, well, let's just look at it as this is part of my challenge of getting 100 rejections. So yeah, but it's 100% fear, so then I get in Canva so or I work on my sales page again.

Chelsey Newmyer  22:34

So for that, it's right, like, that's a great example, because that 100 is a lot, right? It's like, where could you break it down? What's the first step you need to do? The reason that so many of us I call it productive procrastination, like using doing the dishes, for example, right? Like I always joke that when I was studying for finals in college, my apartment was spotless because I would do anything to avoid studying. The reason that we tend to do those kinds of tasks as we're procrastinating is because they have a really clear start and a really clear end. So we know exactly how to get started. You see a sink full of dishes. We know how to do the task of washing the dish, and we know when it's completed because the sink is empty. Try to set your to do list up that way every single day, the tasks on your to do list should be super specific. I mean, mine today is like, call so and so. Like that is, I even include the number, like, I put her number right there so I know exactly who to call and when to call them again. You want all of your tests to be that straightforward and simple for you.

Jacki Hayes  23:41

One of the other questions I always ask my guest is, "Chelsey, what would you say to Chelsey from four and a half five years ago when she was just starting her business? What advice would you give her?"

Chelsey Newmyer  23:55

Get coaching sooner? I would say, find that accountability person to just gut check you a little bit when you are doing that busy work, because it's overwhelming to get started. There's just a lot of pieces, there's and then they're all fun, right? Like we all go into it with so much energy and enthusiasm, and then we have, like, that shiny object syndrome. So get coaching sooner, just to find that person to kind of keep you accountable and do those gut checks for yourself. That would probably be my first piece of advice, and then give yourself permission to figure it out along the way, like this, rebrand this work that I'm doing right now, I am kind of forcing myself to show up, even though I don't exactly know how it's going to look like at the end, and it's really uncomfortable. But I've learned that I sometimes have to just do the uncomfortable stuff until it gets comfortable.

Jacki Hayes  24:42

That's like, all of business, like, that's all that is literally it

Chelsey Newmyer  24:47

Yes and I just learned it four and a half years in. So,

Jacki Hayes  24:51

Chelsea, where can the audience find you?

Speaker 1  24:53

Sure? So I'm on Instagram at Chelsey and coaching, and it's Chelsey with a Y. My website is ChelseyNewmyer.com. And then, of course, my podcast, which is from Overwhelm to Under Control, which, of course, may be rebranded within the next few months. So just be on the lookout for all the new things coming from my business. 

Jacki Hayes  25:11

Excellent. And I will definitely make sure I link to that all of that in the show notes. Definitely go take a listen to her podcast. And I will make sure I definitely link directly to the procrastination episode so people can find that as well. So okay, thank you. Thank you so much for being on the podcast today.

Chelsey Newmyer 25:28

Thank you so much, Jacki, it's a lot of fun.

Jacki Hayes  25:33

Thanks for hanging out with me on Here's What I Learned. If today's episode gave you an aha moment, a laugh or something to think about make sure you're subscribed to my email list. That's where I share even more tips, stories and behind the scenes insights to help you simplify and thrive and remember you get to do business and life your way until next time. Keep experimenting, keep simplifying and keep learning.